Some Call It Eggs

Nigella Lawson is a celebrity ‘foodie’ that has some of her television viewers hanging onto her every word.  The other lot are yawning at her excessive use of over the top clichés and nauseating food descriptions.  Nigella would think nothing of describing a fried egg as a ‘golden orb of sunshine encased in a soft white cloud’.  No, really – she would.  Her heavy, heavy cooking hand is much loved by the devoted members of the ‘eat anything as long as it tastes good and don’t worry about your insides’ cult.  The woman endorses eating anything at any time of the day or night.  She has made a career out of exploiting human weakness.  Yeah, it’s called greed.  Just make it look sexy and tantalizing and you’ve hooked an audience.  Food and money – everybody needs it and we all want more of it. 

The celebrity ‘foodie’ is married to Charles Saatchi.  Nigella has often bragged about how she feeds him ever so lovingly.  We all know she feeds herself very lovingly bordering on the indecent.  This is another ‘Nigella ploy’ that works on some and not on others.  It had spectacular results on her hubby.  Charles just kept on ballooning and Nigella just kept on giving her man love.  Nigella was also full of it.  She looked like a whale with a very pretty face.  We all noticed how the camera concentrated more and more on her upper body during cooking shows.  She had once been called ‘the most beautiful woman in the world’ by Jay Leno when she appeared on his popular show in America.  And it was close to the truth.  Back then, Nigella looked utterly gorgeous in a little black number that shouted curvy babe with class. 

But let me get back to Charles and Nigella’s ‘golden orbs of sunshine encased in soft white clouds’.  Remember that is eggs to us.  Well, Charles decided he was going to have some of those.  But he did it for nine whole months.  He was desperate to lose body fat.   Remember that is love to Nigella.  Charles has been on other extreme diets in the past.  It’s shocking that Nigella seems to have no understanding that food is the foundation of being healthy and that healthy means a good quality of life.  She has floated in a haze of sugar and cream until the consequences became obvious to hubby.  But instead of using her craft to do good - she fed him nine eggs every day for nine months.  Sounds like an evil magic potion but it worked, kind of.  The man lost four stone in weight.  But he looks really haggard. 

There are some pretty awful side effects if you eat so many eggs for so long.  But the Saatchi / Lawson couple didn’t seem to mind.  This twosome is perfect for the Oprah Show.  Oprah lives for this kind of thing.  She has lots of empathy for people who are living extreme lifestyles of ‘feast and famine’.  It’s really simple Nigella, everything in moderation means you can eat well and live well.  There should not be a need to live on ‘golden orbs of sunshine encased in soft white clouds’ i.e. eggs.  Just admit you’ve been hopelessly wrong.  You are what you eat.